Nearly All Commercial Drivers in Lagos Are Mad

Or should we just say all of them?

Honestly, this post’s title should also be Nearly all commercial drivers in Lagos are scammers and fraudsters. The stories you’ve heard about these people are not enough, trust me.

There was a time my sister and I were on our way to Rovingheights store in Surulere and because we weren’t sure of the exact location, when we got to Lawanson, this keke (tricycle) guy offered to take us there at the rate of 500 naira. Please bear in mind that where we were going to is actually a trekkable distance from Lawanson but this keke guy refused to tell us because of his own personal gain.

Well, we got into his tricycle and alas! This guy did a whole merry-go-round to Masha and some other unknown places to me so that we could think the journey was very ‘long’. It was on our way back we realized we had been duped. To say I was pained is an understatement.

Another time, I was going to Oshodi from Ojota and I didn’t understand why the driver kept on driving past Oshodi and the conductor telling me he’ll collect extra money. Is it because I’m a small girl?

Some of them would even deliberately hold on to your balance and want you to forget it, but trust me, I never do. A time is coming when I won’t depend on public transport. Amen.

I think the madness of commercial drivers in Lagos stems from the fellow madness of those men in green cargo pants, white shirts and green baseball caps, they are under a particular association and some of their members don’t wear uniforms. You’ll see them everywhere- angry-looking men with sachets of Chelsea or Erujeje gins hanging in their mouths, nursing a cigarette and holding bundles of naira notes in their hands.

These guys job is to collect money from commercial drivers at the one million and one bus stops in Lagos, even tricycle and motorcycle riders are not exempted. They claim that this money is used to repair community roads and for the welfare of commercial drivers but that is a big fat lie.

If you aren’t living in Lagos, I’m about to give you a scenario.

A mini Danfo bus or 'Korope’ as some people call it (The picture is above) can carry a maximum of seven passengers (My people in Unilorin, that front seat beside the driver is meant for only ONE passenger), so if the t-fare is 100 naira, the driver makes 700 naira and can end up paying as much as 300 naira to those men I mentioned above at every run. They have the power to stop a driver from carrying passengers if he/she refuses to comply with their orders. Our officers and able men and women in yellow (you should know the latter very well) can’t even do anything because those who collect money from commercial drivers ‘settle’ them.

There’s also a group of people known as ‘Agberos’ (These people are simply the thugs on Lagos roads funded by you-know-who). They are made up of some of that same particular association officials and bus conductors. They are everywhere in Lagos State. Their only advantage is that they’re always available to rush people to the nearest hospitals during accidents and I’m not even sure if this is a good thing.

All in all, dealing with commercial drivers in Lagos is a very tedious and energy-draining thing. You have to ‘shine your eyes’ if not, you’ll be tossed to and fro by these people. What are your thoughts on this article? Please share in the comments.

Don’t forget to check out my About page and my Who Dey Breet article for reasons why I started this blog. Also follow me on Instagram and Twitter to see snippets of my blog posts.

Yours in love,

LamLam

P.S- Would you want me to make a post based on people’s experience with Lagos state commercial drivers? And Do you feel like I should write on a particular topic? Please tell me your answers in the comments.

The Title of this blog post was inspired by Damilare Kuku’s amazing book (Nearly All Men in Lagos Are Mad).