The Craziest Year of my Life

2024 was a lot and I'm happy to send it off...

Dec 31, 2024

Hi. It’s been a while….

I find it easier to write about my struggles when I’m no longer going through them and that’s exactly what I'm doing now. I wrote the least this year because I didn’t have the courage to write during my problems and maybe I’m not there yet.

2024 was an emotional rollercoaster for me and it went downhill so fast. About 80 percent of my time was spent in school (me going through my third year and def my worst year of medical school). I’ve divided 2024 into three parts- The Great, The Not-So-Great and The Ugly. Let’s start with The Great (good news first👌).

THE GREAT

The greatest news I have to share this year is me passing my First Professional MBBS Examinations and getting promoted to the clinical side of medical school😎 Anyone who has written their first MB knows the amount of work that goes into preparing for it and writing it. I’m so happy to be done with Preclinicals and I’m enjoying my well-deserved break.

I also had my first distinction in medical school this year- Neurobiochemistry. There were other great moments like COBES (If you haven’t watched any of my COBES videos, you should. It’s an highlight on my Instagram), and CMDA’s WZPMC which added a lot of colour to my otherwise drab third year (there’s a video on it too).

THE NOT-SO-GREAT

300-level was the class I struggled the most and I think most of it cams from the mental stress of being in school for too long. I didn’t go home throughout and looking back now, I should have been more intentional about going out to have fun.

I had my first fail in medical school this year- a 49.1 in Extremities and I do not wish the whole mental gymnastics that comes with failing an exam on anyone. The results came in a few days to our Neuro exams and I had this mentality of ‘moving on, not dwelling on it’ and all of that craziness which made things worse.

Now, I think the best way to address failing an exam is to look at it objectively- what went wrong and what can I do to prevent it from happening again. But there’s this ‘culture’ or ‘way of thinking’ (although not everyone does this) in medical school that doesn’t seem to promote it.

We’re encouraged to move on to the next posting, the next incourse, and the next exam and when you do this without addressing the real issue (which is what exactly made you fail), you make the same mistake over and over again. And your results don’t get better.

I blocked out the result from my mind and I moved on to the next exam which was Neuroanatomy and that turned out to be the worst exam I’ve written so far. There was this voice that kept on telling me I could fail it just like Extremities for a moment in the hall, I had to pray for help because my mind kept on playing different scenarios. After that exam I’ve never prayed more for a 50 in my entire life😅😅😭😭

Neuro posting this year was my worst and final posting in Preclinicals and I just disliked everything about it before we started and that probably made matters worse. The University started having electricity and water issues, school stress was increasing and then I had to change my place of accommodation about 3 weeks to my Neuro exams. By September, I had mentally clocked out of school.

Happy to finish Neuro and excited to be closer to the finishing line in Preclinicals…

And even though my first distinction was in Neuro posting, I also had my first set of 50s in the same posting and at that point, I couldn’t care less. I just knew I tried my best and if that gave me a 50-something, then so be it. Someone made a statement to me while I was ranting during one of my low moments and it was- your scores don’t define you and I’m saying this to someone who thinks they do, they absolutely do not!

2024 was also the year I faced the most rejections and some were really painful but sometimes, I may not be good enough yet and that’s okay. Also, I’d like to believe time and chance happens to us all.

What made me get through this not-so-great part was being honest about my struggles and I totally recommend it to anyone having a hard time in medical school. Now, honesty isn’t always going to be comfortable because it requires being vulnerable but it is necessary. Especially to the people who are above you and have gone through your present class. They know exactly how you feel and are well experienced to give you the best advices.

THE UGLY

I lost so many people this year that I’m still in disbelief as to how life can be so unpredictable. The first one to break me was the death of the friend who gave me the name LamLam and then a family friend who was really instrumental in me studying Medicine. I'd like to believe they are all in a better place❤️

All in all, third year was a crazy school year and there were plenty times I almost lost it. Big shout out to my family, friends, senior colleagues and everyone else who held my hand throughout Preclinicals. It’s a privilege to cross to the other side where I hope brighter days await.

How did 2024 go for you? I'd like to know in the comments🫶🏽

LamLam the storyteller

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